The Funnies Are Back! LOL

You Are Here ==> :/The Funnies Are Back! LOL

I Have To Evaporate!

I Can’t Go To Court Because I Have To Evaporate!”

Ok, this didn’t happen to me, I just read it. And as I’ve said many times, sometimes I just see stuff and think it’s funny!

(This phone call happened a month after hurricane Ike came through, and one of our clients missed his court date.)

Me: “Sir, why did you miss your court date?”
Client: “I’m not going back to jail! I missed court because I’m not back from the evaporation yet.”
Me: “Uh…what?”
Client: “I had to evaporate up north.”
Me: “…really? Evaporate? How did you do that? Was it painful?”
Client: “No! We rode a bus! What don’t you understand about having to evaporate?! I’m not going back to jail!”
Me: *sigh*

Author: Patrick Hill

Visit Us on Google+

Too Funny

Ok, so this has absolutely nothing to do with bail bonds, but as I’ve said many times before – sometimes I just see stuff and think its funny as hell!

Have you seen the Carl’s Jr and Hardy’s commercial where all the roosters are flooding into the parking lot and going nuts to get inside the store because they are advertising larger chicken breasts?

Commercial cracks me UP! That’s funny right there, I don’t care who you are!

Don’t Be A Victim

Bail Bonds Dallas

Well, actually this has nothing to do with Bail Bonds Dallas. As I’ve send in the past, sometimes I just see stuff or hear stuff and have to share.

So…I’m sitting in a restaurant for dinner and the group at the table next to me is obviously in town for a business trip – I can tell this by their discussion to hit certain Dallas area sites before they leave town. Nothing unusual there, but then a guy in the group starts telling this story about a previous trip him and some other colleagues were on where they decided to stop and get something to eat after they had left the office on their way to their hotel.

Evidently, after they reached whatever restaurant they had chosen, it was at that point they decided they didn’t want to carry their laptops into the restaurant (THAT’S the part that got my attention :-D! I already knew where this was going but I figured I’d sit quietly, finish my dinner, and see if I was correct).

Back to the story…

Someone in the group decided it would be a good idea to put all the laptops in the truck of the rental car (I’m thinking “Seriously?!? – you can’t possibly be that – well, anyway). So they’re in the parking lot of this restaurant during their busiest time and decide to pop the truck and place the laptops inside, thinking they would be safe!

For some odd reason the group was TOTALLY surprised when they finished their meal, got back to the rental car and saw the trunk had been pried open and the laptops were GONE! Then, adding insult to injury, the restaurant staff was not sympathetic at all, […]

Nothing To Do With Bail Bonds

Sometimes I just see funny stuff and feel like sharing! 🙂
These are from kickasshumor.com

Three drunk guys enter a taxi. The taxi driver knew that they were drunk so he started the engine & turned it off again. Then said, “We have reached your destination”. The 1st guy gave him money & the 2nd guy said “Thank you”. The 3rd guy slapped the driver. The driver was shocked thinking the 3rd drunk knew what he did. But then he asked “What was that for?”. The 3rd guy replied, “Control your speed next time, you nearly killed us!”

Boy: ( calls 911 ) hello 911 i need your help!
911: alright what is it?
Boy: 2 girls are fighting over me!
911: -.- so whats the problem about that?
Boy: the ugly one is winning!

Bank Robbery

A hooded robber burst into a Texas bank and forced the tellers to load a sack full of cash.

On his way out the door a brave Texas customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off revealing the robber’s face.

The robber shot the customer without a moment’s hesitation.

He then looked around the bank and noticed one of the tellers looking straight at him. The robber instantly shot him also.

Everyone else, by now very scared, looked intently down at the floor in silence.

The robber yelled, “Well, did anyone else see my face?”

There were a few moments of utter silence in which everyone was plainly afraid to speak. Then one old man tentatively raised his hand and said, “My wife got a pretty good look at you.”

All kidding aside – we like the jokes and funny stories, but if you find yourself in a serious situation and you need a Dallas Bail Bond, then please call us here at Set’Em Free Bail Bonds. We will be happy to provide you with information on the bail bonds process in Dallas. We can also post your Dallas County bail bond quickly and with complete confidentiality.

Be sure you always use a knowledgeable Bail Bond Agent that can answer all of your questions. We post bail bonds for all cities in Dallas County and our bail bond agents have the expertise to handle whatever situation your friend or loved one finds themselves in. Let us help relieve the stress. Our family is here to help your family.

Call us  at 214-941-2245.  We’re ready to help!

Author: Patrick Hill

Best Bail Bond 1-Liner I Heard Today

Every now and then when we’re talking to our Bail Bond clients in Dallas – they come out with some doosies. One of the co-signers said his friend made this comment when trying to explain why he got arrested:

“I hadn’t planned on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere!”

Yeah, that’s a reason to run!! LOL!!

If you find yourself going for an unexpected run that involves law enforcement (smh) – please call us at: 214-941-2245

Set’Em Free Bail Bonds

All jokes aside – needing a Dallas Bail Bond is no laughing matter. If you do need our services, just know that we are available 24 HRS a day and ready to provide the assistance you need.

Gimme You’re Money Or I’ll Point…I Mean Shoot!

Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun, but unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket.

Don’t Say This To A Cop…

The top 20 things not to say to a cop when he pulls you over.

20. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.
19. Sorry officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.
18. Aren’t you the guy from the villiage people?
17. Hey, you must have been doing 125 to keep up with me, good job.
16. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical shape to be a police officer.
15. I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
14. Bad cop. No donut.
13. You’re not going to check the trunk, are you?
12. Gee, that gut sure doesn’t inspire confidence.
11. Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on cops?
10. Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?
9. I pay your salary!
8. So uh, you on the take or what?
7. Gee officer, that’s terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning.
6. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
5. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other cars around, that’s how far they are ahead of me.
4. What do you mean have I been drinking? You are the trained specialist.
3. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off of my lap and got lodged between the brake and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
2. Hey, is that a 9mm? That’s nothing compared to this 44 magnum.
1. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

The 10 Most Wanted

Little Sammy’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station. There they saw pictures tacked to a big bulletin board.

The label clearly read, “The 10 Most Wanted.”

One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

“Yes,” said the policeman, “the detectives want him very badly.”

So Little Sammy asked, while tugging on the man’s belt, “Um, mister, why didn’t you keep them when you took their pictures?”